Many people are at a loss for a response when
someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt".
Now, you can handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt,
the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the
deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie
Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt,
Fulla Schitt, Give Schitt, and Bull Schitt, a high
school dropout.
After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe
divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted
to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe
Shitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a
cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and
Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout childhood
and consequently, married the Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony.
The Shitt Happens children are Dawg, Byrd, and
Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to
tour the world. He recently returned with his new
bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, when someone says you don't know Jack
Schitt, you can correct them.